Much Much More

How do you know if someone loves you?

Is it the way he smiles at you?

Or the way he calls out your name?

Is it the way he looks at you when he thinks you're not looking?

Or the way you fit just right in his arms?

Is it the way he kisses you after having a big fight?

Is it the way he looks into your eyes and make everything, even just for a second, go away?

Or is it the way he touches you just to let you know he's there?

It's all of these things and much…

much…

more.

Kadiri with a capital K

Warning: STOP READING if you're eating or about to eat or if  you have a weak stomach.. . Cuz super kadiri tong kwnto na to. This happened yesterday.

Backround lang… if a property in singapore is up for selling, the agent, together with prospective buyers, will view the flat to see its condition, appearance, etc and is usually during weekends… Thus the name "viewing". This is  done together with an "evaluator" who will determine the price of the flat.

Last night, there was a scheduled viewing of our flat.

9pm–the property agent arrived with the prospective buyer (Indian).

Shempre, sa door pa lang, they took off their shoes, as is the custom when you enter flats here.

Pasok muna ung agent (Wilson)…Followed by the buyer (tawagin natin shang Pana).

When Pana first stepped into the house, all of us smelled shit. Wilson asked me: "You have a dog?" E wala naman kaming dog.

I thought baka naiputan lang si Pana ng bird shit sa carpark sa baba. Clearly, the smell was coming from him.

They may nalaglag na tae sa sahig.

Then si Pana nagpaka deadma lang.

Then I saw shit in his hands. as in may hawak hawak sha sa kamay nya. Kasing laki ng dalawang subo ng kanin.

P*TAH ANO TO???

May nalaglag na naman na shit sa sahig, kasing laki ng piso.

"HON!!! PENGE TISSUE!!!" sigaw ko kay Jun. Mejo mabait pa ko this time. Kala ko emergency at magsosorry sha for the incident.

Abot si Jun ng tissue kay Pana. Clearly it wasnt bird shit cuz it undoubtedly smelled like human shit.

So start magpunas si Pana ng sahig. Nakakainis pa, ung pinunas nyang tae e kumalat lang lalo.

This time, nagpunta na ko sa may terrace, hoping I could breathe some fresh air. Pero hindi. Naduwal na ko.

Sabi ni Pana "Can use your washroom?" (singlish shempre). Sa bawa't apak nya papunta sa guests' CR e may nahuhulog na tae sa sahig. AMPOTAH talaga.

Sinindihan ko LAHAT ng scented candles sa bahay. Super pissed na si Jun this time. Hindi nagagalit ang asawa ko pero siguro you can imagine naman especially if you who know how OC Jun is when it comes to cleanliness sa bahay.

Binabaran agad ni Jun ng cleaning materials ung path na dinaanan nitong si Pana. Hindi na namen ma-take. I FEEL SO LUCKY NA MARUNONG AT MASIPAG MAGLINIS ANG ASAWA KO because I can't even go near the mess that Pana has made.

While I was surveying the mess, I thought to myself: "Anu na nga ba number ng cleaners cuz I definitely cannot clean that mess!" Hindi nga ako naglilinis on ordinary days, anu pa kaya eto. (Maybe you're wondering–Pana should clean everything. Ay naku, di mo maiisip to cuz we just wanted to get rid of him!)

After 30 minutes, lumabas na sa CR si Pana. Deadma. Di man lang nagsosorry. Pero ung agent super sorry ng sorry.

The washroom was a mess. A whole roll of tissue paper was wet. There were some shit on the rag. Ung small towel na nakahang sa wall, may "labit". grabe. it took three scented candles to get rid of the smell.and naubos din ung automizer na freshener sa CR na to.

So anyway, malamang, on the way pa lang to our flat e umebak na si Pana sa pants nya. Sana hindi na lang nya tinuloy yung viewing. Hindi man lang nahiya.

Even if the smell has vanished, I could still imagine the smell. Yuck talaga. Traumatised ako talaga. Until now parang I dont want to go inside that washroom. Kahit lininis na Jun bawat sulok at fixtures nun.

Wilson and Shah (the owner) said their apologies but it's not their fault naman d b. Maybe it's also not Pana's fault. Baka naman over talaga ang diarrhea nya or he had his anus operated on so di nya na talaga mapigil. But still d b, common sense and breeding, wag ka naman magkalat sa bahay ng ibang tao.

THE NEXT DAY (today) Pana and the owner returned to view the flat again. Siguro hindi sha nakapagconcentrate last night dahil sa dumi nya! Before he entered the house, Jun gave him a piece of his mind. Sabi raw ni Jun : DONT YOU MAKE A MESS HERE AGAIN! (Pasigaw eh, galit kasi si Tutuy. At sa galit nya di na nya ata naayos ingles nya hehe). Pero hindi ata mashado marunong mag-English si Pana. So mejo di nya naintindihan. Grabe, nakuha pa nyang bumalik at magpakita dito. Kababuyan talaga ng IBANG locals dito, grabe. sabi nga ni LifeIsShorts, THE NERD!

Shempre, when I got to the office today, I told this incident to my colleagues, mostly Chinese. They immediately asked for our UNIT NUMBER, para itaya sa numbers game dito (something like 4digits or Toto). It turns out, incidents like this brings good luck daw.

Well, we'll know later if we won the jackpot. I hope so, para naman something good will come out from Pana's ultra-stinkin' shit.

Who I miss most

My smartest sister

Matalino talaga to si Apps. Pero minsan, sablay.

Isang halimbawa…

Apps: Kuya Nong, malinaw ba mata mo? 50/50 ka ba?

(Ano yan Apps, agaw-buhay?)

This Kiss

from our wedding scrapbook

That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time.

- Josie Geller (Drew Barrymore)
From the movie Never Been Kissed

Resignation by Nikki Giovanni

(This is the complete version of my Welcome Note. It's one of my favorite poems by Nikki Giovanni…cuz shempre, reminds me of my OGL.)

I love you because the Earth turns round the sun
because the North wind blows north sometimes,
because the Pope is Catholic and most Rabbis are Jewish

By: Yolande Cornelia "Nikki" Giovanni

True Stories

Pristine received a text message from someone:

STIL R U COMING HIR OR NO..IF U DONT..PLS COL ME NAMAN!!

*****

Having a conversation with two of my colleagues about a certain president of a charity organisation here in SG.

Me: You heard about Mr XXX…he stole all the charity's funds and went abroad!

Colleague 1: So he's now a fugitive?!

Colleague 2 (with feelings) : Yeah!!! He's now a FIGURATIVE!!!

(hanep, narinig na nga e, mali pa rin)

*****

Overheard Colleage No. 2 (same person above) talking to someone on the phone.

–Colleague No. 2 dials the number–

(person on the other end answers the call.)

Colleague 2:  Hello,  good morning. WHO IS IT?

*****

 Colleague No. 2 strikes again.

Colleague No. 2 (talking to me): Have you ever heard a live O-CHE-CHA play?

Me (in my thoughts): shet ano daw? O-che-cha? Knock knock joke ba eto?

Me (after 5 seconds, realised what he meant): Oh, you mean an orchestra!

*****

Eto na nman po sha…

Colleague No. 2: Michelle, why not we all go to Raffles Hotel to have lunch. The AMBIONK there is really nice.

Me (napaisip na nman kung knock knock joke ba eto): oh, yeah, the AMBIENCE…great.

Colleague No. 2: Yeah, yeah, I don't mind paying a lot for that AMBIONK.

(anu ba! inulit ko na nga e, di mo pa rin magets!)

sa panahong ito, lumabas muna ko ng room kasi nauutot na ko sa pagpigil sa tawa.

*****

Typical text message replies  from colleague No. 2:

I'd like to congratulates you…

Thank!

No probs.

Regard.

Aisle No. 3

 I pass by with longing

Taking a glimpse of the future

that I could possibly have

One day the heavens shall bless me

One day I will bring this blessing here

And together we will stroll down

along Aisle Number 3.

Sumasarap ang Gising

I am NOT a morning person. Masungit ako sa umaga. Lalo na pagnauuna kang umalis at dala-dala mo lahat ng yosi  at di mo man lang ako tinirhan kahit isa para sa mga ritwales ko paggising. Itetext pa kita ng “hon, bakit di mo man lang ako tinirhan kahit isang yosi!!!” (Moral of the story: tig-isang pack palagi, kahit mag-asawa na kayo!)

 For the past three years, kahit ang sama ng mood ko sa umaga, sumasarap ang gising ko knowing that you’re there… reminding me that my day will be better…that it’s another day to love you more.

Reality Bites (1994)

This is all we need. A couple of smokes, a cup of coffee, and a little bit of conversation. You and me and five bucks.