True Stories

Pristine received a text message from someone:

STIL R U COMING HIR OR NO..IF U DONT..PLS COL ME NAMAN!!

*****

Having a conversation with two of my colleagues about a certain president of a charity organisation here in SG.

Me: You heard about Mr XXX…he stole all the charity's funds and went abroad!

Colleague 1: So he's now a fugitive?!

Colleague 2 (with feelings) : Yeah!!! He's now a FIGURATIVE!!!

(hanep, narinig na nga e, mali pa rin)

*****

Overheard Colleage No. 2 (same person above) talking to someone on the phone.

–Colleague No. 2 dials the number–

(person on the other end answers the call.)

Colleague 2:  Hello,  good morning. WHO IS IT?

*****

 Colleague No. 2 strikes again.

Colleague No. 2 (talking to me): Have you ever heard a live O-CHE-CHA play?

Me (in my thoughts): shet ano daw? O-che-cha? Knock knock joke ba eto?

Me (after 5 seconds, realised what he meant): Oh, you mean an orchestra!

*****

Eto na nman po sha…

Colleague No. 2: Michelle, why not we all go to Raffles Hotel to have lunch. The AMBIONK there is really nice.

Me (napaisip na nman kung knock knock joke ba eto): oh, yeah, the AMBIENCE…great.

Colleague No. 2: Yeah, yeah, I don't mind paying a lot for that AMBIONK.

(anu ba! inulit ko na nga e, di mo pa rin magets!)

sa panahong ito, lumabas muna ko ng room kasi nauutot na ko sa pagpigil sa tawa.

*****

Typical text message replies  from colleague No. 2:

I'd like to congratulates you…

Thank!

No probs.

Regard.